An Ode to Apathy and Doubt courtesy of Manchester United
#rapidlyfallingoutoflovewithfootball
The 23rd May 2024. That’s the last time I wrote a newsletter for Played on Paper.
Firstly, I must apologise to those of you who have missed my content (so my Mum, Dad and two random guys on social media). This has been somewhat due to life and work keeping me busy, but the main reason is that I have found myself falling out of love with football to some extent.
This has been due to Manchester United.
Many people liken supporting a football team to religion. Partly it’s because of the grandiose image it conjures up is good for articles, adverts and chants, but there are some parallels.
The weekly attendance of a stadium on mass and the belief in an entity being the most clear correlation, but I think the point that applies most to me is that both instances are emotional investments; your feelings become fully intertwined with your belief.
When things are going well, answers to why you support the team you do come easy and you deflect people’s inquisitions; you counter back with a longwinded passionate spiel.
However, when things are going badly, you have a crisis of faith. The questions you once brushed away become like barbs of logic that hook into your skin…
’Why do I support this team?’
’Why do I go and watch them when I hardly like any of the players and the ones I did like have retired or left?’
’Why do I spend 2 hours of my day off just to be miserable?’
This is where I find myself right now, and one of the major questions I seem to be asking myself is ‘Will it get any better?’
United are at a crossroads that they have found themselves at once before. On one side they can accept the reality of the situation, that they are not in a position to compete for a while, and decide to rebuild from the ground up. On the other they continue down the same path as they have done for the last 12 years and face the grim consequences of that blind ambition.
This was the case at the end of Louis van Gaal’s tenure at Old Trafford. The club could have taken a step back and thought about the footballing operation logically; deciding to retreat and prepare for the next battle.
This is what Liverpool and Arsenal both did. They took the humiliation and embarrassment on the chin and spent time waiting in the dark preparing their returns. Now they are arguably two of the best teams in the country and Europe (even if Arsenal don’t have the trophies to show for it).
However, United took Option B instead.
They hired Jose Mourinho, spent money on big signings and charged blindly into war with an army that was ill equipped. Though it didn’t matter because Ed Woodward could sell the fight on pay-per-view with a noodle sponsor in the ad breaks.
Two more managers followed who each had their issues and the club continued to pump their turnover back into the club in order to try and plug the leaks that were starting to appear in the hull.
We won trophies and had moments of respite, but the trend of form was still spiralling in a downwards trajectory.
And then we get back to now.
United are financially derelict. The coffers are empty and the bailiffs are starting to get disconcertingly comfortable swinging that crowbar around in our front yard.
They have a young manager with clear ideas who they should and could back, they don’t have the resources to do it.
They have a crop of young players, but it seems that instead of being key pieces that the team can be built around, they all have a for sale sign floating above their heads.
So we return to the aforementioned crossroads, and while conceptually the options are the same, the journey to get them has changed considerably.
Option B could leave us actually fighting relegation, whether that’s this season or in the future.
It’s as simple as that and the real issue most fans, such as myself, are finding right now is whether we’re actually looking at the question ‘Will it get better?’ from a place where it can, or from part way up this road to oblivion.
In favour of the optimist’s viewpoint, it’s clear the thinking has changed at United. There are football people making decisions, but their choices are laboured by the sins of the past. The contracts and player acquisitions alone would be enough to make the most hardy Football Director turn tail and run, but they can be sorted over time.
Lisandro Martinez’s injury was a big moment for United’s season. He was arguably one of the only players that had clearly improved under Amorim and understood the system he wanted to play, so his injury has massively curtailed any chance of steadying the ship.
Will he be the same player when he comes back? No one knows.
And if Amad or Bruno Fernandes were to get injured, I don’t know if my mental health (at least when it comes to football) will survive, let alone my team.
I’m glad that we didn’t sell Alejandro Garnacho in the end, (or Kobbie Mainoo despite those initial rumours) as I believe he is becoming a great player despite some fans’ frustrations
The question still remains that if a good offer comes in for him in the summer, will United sell him? And will he want to remain at a club that has no chance of matching his ambitions in the near future?
Questions. Questions. Questions.
That’s all we really have right now. That’s the true pain of supporting United. There is no certainty or faith on even the most basic of levels; fans go into games not thinking we’ll score let alone win so we just have to ask questions.
‘Why did I waste my time with this?’
‘Is there any point staying in the stadium if I don’t think we’re going to score?’
'Should I even renew my season ticket?’
So we return to the crossroads and the still open door that is Option A. What can United do to try and get back to at least a somewhat positive place?
Well for me personally, they can play a lot of the young players they have at their disposal rather than players who aren’t part of the plan.
Victor Lindelof, Casemiro, Christian Eriksen… Yes they are on a lot of money and it will be embarrassing for the club to bench them, but these are blushes the club have brought on themselves.
The bottom line is they are not going to be part of any project long term so why waste valuable and fleeting minutes on them when you could be giving a player who will be part of your squad for years to come some much needed first team experience.
It also taps into something that is a core value of Manchester United. To promote academy talent and play them, it’s a tenet of the club that fans can get behind.
Furthermore stop buying big (or more crucially expensive) names. Of course, the January window has just passed with a lovely deal for Patrick Dorgu being tied up, but keep that energy going into summer.
Shop in the Championship and in lesser known leagues. Make the stars instead of buying them pre-made or as their light is flickering out (if Real Madrid offer you a deal that’s too good to be true, trust that instinct). Watching their progression will again give fans something to be invested in.
Will this work? I don’t know, but a hopeful question is better than a doubtful one.
The future looks bleak for United and maybe it is set in stone, but maybe the shot of morphine that is a potential alternative might begin to quell this apathy that has taken hold.
Will I keep my season ticket and continue trudging down to the stadium while this slow climb back up to the top happens? I don’t really know, but i think that has more to do with the potential price rise.
My season ticket for the last few years has felt like an investment and I’ve been happy to pay it in the hope that when we eventually became good again I’d be able to watch my team succeed in the stadium.
But with the potential 40% rise and that sense of indifference creeping it, I do have to ask whether I am putting my money into a stock that will only continue to fall.
Questions again, but no answers.
I guess the only certainty I have is that despite the toxic emotional relationship I am in with my football club, I still obviously care, even if on the surface it seemed that I was trying to convince you of the contrary.
I will support them week in week out and I will try and have a positive outlook on the things that happen, because ultimately who wants to be miserable.
I hope I find more players to like; I hope those same players improve. I *need* Ruben Amorim to succeed in the way a fish needs water.
I mean if I really was apathetic about my club, if I really didn’t care anymore, why would have just spent that last 1500 words talking about them.
Hope you enjoyed listening to my suffering. I promise I’ll try and be more cheery next time.
Writing this has been cathartic to some extent and I enjoyed it so I’m going to *try* and write more on here.
I say try because I am afraid of commitment (that and I am actually quite busy so committing to doing this regularly is just setting everyone up for disappointment).
Anyway if you enjoyed it and want to keep up to date with the things I do write, you can subscribe down below.